Szadchen swata mlodziencowi posazna panne.
Ten sie wzbrania:
- Przeciez ona jest na pol slepa!
- Pomysl tylko - nie bedziesz musial niczego przed nia ukrywac.
- Ale ona jest prawie glucha!
- Pomysl tylko - ona nie uslyszy twoich przeklenstw...
- Kuleje na jedna noge!
- Tylko pomysl - ona nie bedzie za toba lazila krok w krok...
- No i ma garba!
- Oj, mlody czlowieku, badzz sprawiedliwy! Przeciez jedna wade to ona moz miec!

Three convicts were on the way to prison. They were each allowed to take one item with them to help them occupy their time while incarcerated. On the bus one turned to another and said So what did you bring The second convict pulled out a box of paints and stated that he intended to paint anything he could. He wanted to become the Grandma Moses of Jail. Then he asked the first What did you bring The first convict pulled out a deck of cards and grinned and said I brought cards. I can play poker solitaire gin and any number of games. The third convict was sitting quietly aside grinning to himself. The other two took notice and asked Why are you so smug What did you bring The guy pulled out a box of tampons and smiled. He said I brought these. The other two were puzzled and asked What can you do with those He grinned and pointed to the box and said Well according to the box I can go horseback riding swimming roller-skating...

Po zademonstrowaniu swych umiejetnosci kandydatka na spiewaczke pyta profesora:
- Czy moj glos ma jakies szanse?
- Oczywiscie! Na przyklad, gdy wybuchnie pozar!

"Nie ma cierpienia, którego by nie złagodził kwadrans lektury.�

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